dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
