My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
