Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
