i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
