I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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