I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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