I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize