So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
