Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
