I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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