After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
