all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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