My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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