in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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