He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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