don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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