So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
