I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
