after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
