she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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