There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
