do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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