he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
