I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
