the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We left the knife in your bed.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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