so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
