she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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