he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
