Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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