i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
