remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
