The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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