Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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