Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
