hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
