she was so not down for the gang bang
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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