moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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