I want to make a zoo with you.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize