He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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