can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Do vagina's smell?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just found a bag of teeth...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
