I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
