Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
