i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
