do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
