Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
