Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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