just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
