Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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