i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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