Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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