how can u be prego again
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
