I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize