i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
