i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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