It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
