i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
