Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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