Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
its not stalking. its research.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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