You made me cry and you don't even care
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
