He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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