They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
