omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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