I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
